Agency: Imperium News Service
Subject: Sgt. Major Merlin St. Croix Marine 817th DCR (Drop Commando Regiment)
Biff Henderson: So sergeant what can you tell me about what’s going on.
St. Croix (unlit cigar in his mouth, wearing a Seaford Rangers football cap): Go talk to one of the officers.
Biff: Come on sergeant, I want a little blue-collar perspective. What can you tell me about your mission?
St. Croix: We’re deliverin medicine fer the IRF
Biff: That’s the Interstellar Relief Fund:
St. Croix: S’right
Biff: So why all the gunfire then.
St. Croix: S’mornin some heavily armed bikers attacked the relief column. We blew ’em back to what deities they worship.
Biff: And this afternoon.
St. Croix: We’s attacked by a Solomani grav tank.
Biff: That’s a laser tank.
St. Croix: (gives the reporter a dirty look)
Biff: So what happened.
St. Croix: We blew it up.
Biff: How does a group of IRF workers blow up a grav tank?
St. Croix: Jus lucky I guess.
Biff: Any idea what they were after?
St Croix: They’s jus a bunch of indigenous Mac something or others tryin to carve out a kingdom by takin the local spaceport. Ain’t nuthin we can’t handle.
Biff: And the Solomani grav tank.
St. Croix: They’s probably backing the Mac something clan in hopes that they’ll become the local government and invite the Solomani in as “advisors.” Seen it happen before.
Biff: So what now.
St. Croix: Now we deliver the medicine.