The Pilot


The Pilot:


Opening shot:

Closed elevator doors, they open, Mike, Dennis, and Sashi get in.

Cut to elevator interior, They start to talk about work, the doors start to close, at the last second an “almost” gets in, turns around, Mike, Dennis, and Sashi look at each other, check her out and say “did you see that foul ball last night?” “I thought it was fair, are you sure it was foul?” etc. while the chick is on the elevator.

“Hmm, they should have winter cloths too. Clearly not baseball season.”


Then her cell phone goes off, she starts “chick chatting” at which point whomever was arguing it was a fair ball concedes: ‘yeah, come to think of it, that wasn’t even close’ *ding* elevator doors open, she gets off.


Scene Two:

Shots of the development team in various states of being asleep.  In the process of seeing everyone, we pickup a clock:  9:45am. *BEEP* *DOOR OPENS* Ken arrives at work, wanders to his office.

*shot of Mike waking up* Ken takes off his jacket, switches on a monitor, Mike walks in: “coffee?” “coffee” cut to the front of the building Mike, Dennis and Ken walking out the revolving door.


Cut to Sashi sneaking into Wallace’s office and sneaking out.  He’s guilty of something.


Cut to Kerri walking to her desk in the morning. There are a series of annoyances before she can get to the desk.  Once she’s there, already in a horrible mood from the trip, she’s bombarded by questions about her weekend from her co-workers, who are especially peppy.  Kerri, however, is anti-peppy.  Kerri’s disdain is completely unhidden, but no one seems to notice/care.  Kerri looks at the clock: 9:50 AM.


Cut to Ken, Dennis, and Mike.  They walk to the corner, Keyes* wearing leather gloves, walks past them carrying a black bag, (they acknowledge each other with just a look). The light turns green, but the cross indicator is don’t walk.  Several people start across and are in danger of being run over by turning traffic, one of which is a police car (This happens in the background).

Mike: “Did I tell you I road with my sheriff friend last weekend?”

Ken: “I didn’t even know you had a cop guy.”

Insert “THE THAT GUY” (#47) conversation while walking to the coffee store.

Cut once to Adam walking into his office looking frazzled and walking out again quickly, clearly aggravated.  Throughout the episode, we see Wallace getting more agitated looking for whatever it is Sashi stole (his voice recorder).


Scene 3:

Mike, Dennis and Ken getting off the elevator, turn toward the office, Kerri walks by “Teri is coming over”

*looks of terror*

They hurry back and wake everyone up and alert the development team.  Teri comes over singing “lots of interviews today. . .”


Teri alerts the gang that they’ll be interviewing for a new developer.


While Teri is chatting with the development team about interviews, Ken starts to sneak out, his phone rings as he gets to the door of his office.  He ponders for .5 seconds going back in, makes it to the hallway when his cell phones rings with Kerri in the middle of a rant.


Scene 4:

Mike finds out that they were interviewing a hot foreign chick.  Somehow, Mike thinks it will be an Indian girl, so he asks Sashi to give him some clever Indian phrases to impress her.  Sashi takes Wallace’s voice recorder and starts recording a bunch of REALLY offensive phrases.

Mike: “Where’d you get that?”

Sashi: “Swiped it from Wallace.  It looked cool so I took it”.

Mike spends the day practicing.


Later, Sashi feels bad because he doesn’t want to get Mike in trouble, so he steals the recorder back.  The girl is Chinese, not Indian, and Mike will offend her anyway as we see in the following scene.


Adam, Keyes, and a different developer interview people all day.  In the interview that Mike sits in on, there’s a smoking hot Asian woman being interviewed.  During the interview, Mike starts instant messaging people to tell them a hot chick is in the office.  People then start walking by the room they’re in checking her out.  She turns out to be a great interview and her and Mike really hit it off.  Then they start talking about the Sci-Fi show, “Firefly”, and Mike does his really offensive Chinese impression.  She, Wallace, and Keyes’ reactions are all horrific.  Cut to Mike talking to Ken, Kerri, and Sashi and cue Classic Line #2.


Include scene of Mike being berated.

Occasionally cut to scenes of different candidates being interviewed.  Some are perfect candidates but, “We already have a ‘Mike’ or ‘Ken’ or ‘Dennis’”.


Finally Mike’s in on another interview.  This time it’s another Asian, Dennis Chin (soon to be a regular despite the name).  Wallace: (menacingly) “So, Mike, do you have any other questions?”

Show shot of Keyes with a really nasty look.

Mike: “no”


Cut to Regal outside smoking.


Cut to Wallace, with Inglis and Jimmy James talking about a very important Venture Capital meeting.  Wallace looks frantic, looking for something clearly important.  Cut back to Sashi looking at a voice recorder, chuckles, shrugs, and erases everything on it.

The Voice recorder was vital to getting financial backing (like the recording in “Escape from New York”.


*Keyes character will be played by the actor who was the assassin in “The Boondock Saints”.  He will play the same character in the show, an assassin, though it’s never spoken of.  Throughout the show Keyes will be in the background doing things that indicate he either just killed someone, or is about to.

This entry was posted in Random FIction, Screenplay. Bookmark the permalink.